"If I find in myself desires nothing in this world can satisfy, I can only conclude that I was not made for here."

 

rowanthesloth:

skydark:

jumblejo:

oldfilmsflicker:

The best of The Mayhem Guy from the Allstate commercials

okay, but where is, “I’M THE SMARTEST RACCOON I KNOW”

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Marry me.

I think it’s important that y’all know there are 37 fanworks featuring this character on AO3.

(Source: deanwincherter)

moshgoblin:

idolatrys:

My new favorite thing is realtors adding “NOT HAUNTED” to for sale signs, completely convincing any sane person that the house is definitely haunted.

me, a middle-aged white man in the midwest with marriage troubles and two kids that need a fresh start in a new town:

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(Source: dybbukish)

trainthief:

Can you imagine how fucking wild ladies must have gone for the rejection in pride and prejudice right after it was first published. This guy’s making ten thousand a year and her family is expecting her to find accommodation for herself sooner rather than later and STILL Lizzie is like “no. No. True love only. And also while I’ve got you here please accept my invitation to fuck off.” I would’ve lost my damn gourd, I would’ve gone bonkers. And group chats didn’t exist so you’d just have to hope your friends were as far into the book as you so you could meet at the village green to throw a fucking riot

5000letters:

i write you into every universe that i create and in each one you are full of some kind of light